Peace be with you

Things are going too fast. It feels like the whole last month has been squeezed into 25 minutes. So much has happened and I've been running the whole time.
This fast pace prevents me from finding a peaceful place in my mind. It traps the nonsense thoughts and fragmented ideas that cram my head. It makes me lose focus of the important things and dwell on the minutia of the moment.
Peace is one of my favorite words.

Sometimes it's best not to go on ad nausea about nothing much at all.

and that's where I'm at.

Today I met a person who supports everything that I am against. Is he the enemy? Is he dangerous? I doubt he would rob me with a gun in a dark alley. Given that he's a writer though, he is undoubtedly much more dangerous.

today I felt like a stupid cow.
and that's all I'm going to say about it!

Not much longer now...

Fantastic. I'm going to get the shots from the photographer this friday. FINALLY!!!!!

Let's light a candle for the web gods and pray that it will be up this time next week.

Have I mentioned that none of my friends ever look at my blog.

Is that pathetic or good luck?

Slowly Feeling Strong Again

O.K. enough of the damn whining and complaining. Enough of the feeling bad and not connecting with the rest of the world. I want to dance and sing and goof off and go for a really long hike in the woods!.
I am going to go on a really long hike in the woods!

I am so strong, but I have been feeling so weak and puny. What's up with that?
Where did my strength go? My determination? My force?
Thank God, I don't have to go looking for it. I know it's always within me, it just gets very small sometimes. If I take a moment, breath, center myself, spend time alone and gather the loose ends, I can usually reel it up from inside and let it grow and become strong again.

I forgot how much I love to feel strong!

Sometimes I get the feeling I can’t win for lose.

It seems that on a daily basis, I’m doing the two steps forward, one step back dance. Well, I guess as long as I’m moving forward I can’t really complain.

Life has become an overwhelming whirlwind of movement and it is being contained in a reflecting ball, which is sitting in my garden.

then again maybe not

I was ready to get all back into acting and everything, but then I totally forgot about an audition today. I was really looking forward to this audition too. It sounded like a neat little film and I had that feeling that it was something I would probably get. I don't know why, but sometimes I get a feeling as to which films I'm going to get and which ones I'm not. I guess you could call it my little premonitions. They are real feelings too. But I have been in a terrible fog since my mother-in-law passed away. It's only been two weeks but on the other hand, it been two weeks!

A friend of mine says I need to be more forgiving of myself and cut myself some slack. But I never miss an audition and it pisses me off. I hate this cloudy thinking type feeling. Like I need more coffee, lot's more!

I'm getting back to the gym and that should help clear the webs.

At least I hope so.