delete the blog

I’ve been thinking about deleting this blog and I’m surprised at my reluctance. As I got close to the delete button, it felt like I was ending a long term relations ship. The kind where you go, - what was that about? How did I end up here? What do I do now?

It’s not like I want to stop this one because I’ve been eyeing another blog, as if there’s a secret blog fling going on or anything. Or that I have several blogs that I move around in. I guess I’m more of a monogamous blogger. But the idea though, to delete every thing - every picture, word, image and shared memory, feels more like I may not have really existed. O.K., obviously I exist to some degree. I exist to my friends, and family. But it’s still a really odd feeling. Both freeing and sad at the same time.

Time to go

~L~

sigh

For many reasons, I’m very proud of Storie Productions. Here's yet another:

Congratulations! You have been chosen as an award recipient for
the Heroes in the Fight SM program. Through this program, Mental
Health America of Texas along with Partner Organizations Depression
and Bipolar Support Alliance Texas; NAMI Texas; National
Association of Social Workers, Texas Chapter; Texas Council of
Community MHMR Centers, Inc.; Texas Counseling Association; Texas
Mental Health Consumers and Texas Psychological Association is
recognizing you and a select number of individuals who provide
exemplary care and dedication to those affected by severe and
persistent mental illness.

The Heroes in the Fight SM recognition program was established by
Eli Lilly and Company to celebrate dignity, courage, hope, and
recovery in the ongoing treatment of people with serious and
persistent mental illness. Lilly co-sponsors the program with
local mental health organizations in communities across the United
States. The local partner organizations manage the nomination and
selection of honorees in their areas.

We hope you will be able to attend our luncheon as our guest of
honor.

School time ...again.

Oh Bother! I have the End of Summer blues. What else should I call it. My kids have gone back to school and now there’s nobody around to play with, and in fact, there’s no playing at all! The house needs new floors, new paint, a new water heater, and there’s a leak in the wall, which has made the sheet-rock yucky. I want to go back to the beach and play in the sand. I wanna run and jump and shout in the rain storm again. I want to have that “everything is perfect at this very moment” feeling, as I watch my kids play in the surf or snuggle up with me in the beach towel.

I’m not ready for this start of school stuff. This blasting out of the house first thing in the morning only to sit in interminable traffic. Then not seeing my sunny sweet kid faces until 6 or 7 at night. Pooh! I wanna play. I want my kiddies! We still need to do more traveling and exploring! We were just getting warmed up! Now it’s school time.

Oh Bother!

I have been studying and meditating on living in the now. Some people think that it’s a process of letting go of past experiences and future expectations, but for me, it’s understanding that the past and future don’t exist. The past has happened and the future will happen, but right now, they are not here. They don’t exist.
A little before 7 this morning, I was sitting on my driveway, contemplating existence, when a half a dozen deer came up and discovered me. It seems I was in the way of their morning migration. Of course, they could go in a number of directions to get from the green belt to the back yards, and after 15 minutes or so, one of them figured this out and the rest followed. I’m usually not too thrilled with deer. They eat every bloom, rub off the bark from my newly planted trees, and they recently ate several bushes, but still, they are truly beautiful creatures. They have lovely necks that arch up and back and long tapering legs that diminish into tiny black hooves. Hooves that make a delicate clickity-clack as they run across the street. There was one deer that almost made me laugh out loud. He walked behind a bush, craned his neck back and gave me a double take. Then he walked across the street, went behind another bush, reached his neck way out again, and did another double take. I won’t put human notions to his actions, but he was very funny and it made the moment wonderful.

summer ending

Summer is almost over. Some parts of it were so hard, I couldn't get out of the fetal position and off of the couch for a week. Some parts of it were so great and wonderful, I felt I could take the world in long sweeping steps.
Because of the way the county school board, set up the school calender, this has been an extra long summer, but I wouldn't mind if it went on for a few more weeks. I've been enjoying these mellow, languid days, with a house full of silly happy kids. As far as I'm concerned, kids make the months between June and August become the season called "Summer." Soon though, we will be back to deadlines, schedules, homework hassles and waking up while it's still dark outside. I feel as if I'm holding onto the last days of summer, like I'm holding onto my sweet sweet children. Both are changing with the seasons and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Instead, I'll just let myself breath in this very perfect moment.

Clothes Swap

Interesting smart women, laughing/sharing stories, yummy homemade pizza and scrumptious desserts, no agendas, no posturing, no "So, what do you do for a living?" or worse "What does your husband do?"

Just hangin’ out type fun!

O.K. so the agenda was a clothes swap. But what’s not to love about that? And I did bitch a little bit about this one person who took my money, but everyone was good with it. Even supportive. And laughter, lot’s of wonderful silly laughter.

To get away and be a little bit of who I used to be. That evening was a gift.

tag I'm it....
I'm new to this tagging game, but the idea is that the blogger who has been tagged, needs to reveal eight facts about themselves. They also need to post and obey the following rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
p.s. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.

My 8 random things:
1. When I was in high school, I sang in a pool hall and my guitarist was always tripping on acid.

2. I can control what happens in my dreams.

3. My nose has been broken and/or cracked three times. Each time I see stars and it hurts like hell.

4. I fantasize about winning the lottery, but I don't play it.

5. I am the product of a Russian Jew, and a Baptist preacher.

6. In times of extreme danger, I become very calm, in a surreal way and it freaks people out. When the crises is over, I lose my shit.

7. When I was really young, my parents took my three siblings and me, to see the movie Blazing Saddles. I think back then, it was rated R and everyone was giving my folks dirty looks for taking kids to this film. The adult humor was lost on me, but the scene where the cowboys are eating beans around the campfire and farting, was so incredible funny to my brothers, sister and me, that we were falling out of our chairs and screaming with laughter.

8. Until I moved into this house 9 years ago, I never lived in one place longer than two years. Even while growing up. I force myself to stay here.

Now for the tagging part - Everyone I know that I could tag, has already been tagged. I know that sounds pathetic, but it's true. So, I'm going to start cultivating more blogging friends and when I find some, I'll post them. But for now how about this really cool blogger Aaron. I found him via a link from Stacy's blog.

Holy Moly, I've been Tagged!!!!