ACTION

Shot the first part of my short this evening. All exterior and thankfully the weather was beautiful and the kids were great.
Still need to do a bunch of interior shots, but I'll get them this weekend.
Lot's of "just keep the camera rolling," kind of takes and it's going to be like teasing apart pasta when I get into post.
At least it's moving forward and for that I'm really thankful.

ken's writers group

I am in a writers group!
A real writers group.
We read each others scripts, offered feedback, ideas, encouragement and "just do it."
The writers are interesting, insightful and honest.
Shit, ...this is incredibly cool.

Not that I can afford one, but I'm thinking about getting a boat. Just looking at them makes me feel closer to my Dad. I think of him every day. All the time.

holy geeze

My little kid now says "holy geeze." I think he picked it up from camp. The way he says it though, is what makes me laugh out loud. Like we're living in the bronx, not the middle of Texas.
What will come next...

better

I’m feeling better. Finally! Still a bit bruised, but better than my previous emotional state of the walking wounded.

My kids are home, I made it through my first Father’s Day without my Dad, and I’m more o.k. with the things in my life that are unchangeable. Truthfully - a sense of relief.

If don't get out of this damn depression soon, people will start referring to me as the "unhappy chick" or the girl who's always sad. I hate those stupid monikers, but at this point in time, they fit really well. It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I've been very sad and I appreciate folks caring words.
It's 1:15 am on a Wedensday morning. God, it's going to be a long week! If I can just make it through this week, things will get better.
One good things come of this though, I'm back to working on my feature length screenplay. I may be feeling weak and like shit, but the story is feeling better. And that's good.

Went to a writers meeting this evening. It was a small step, but I got out and even laughed. Forgot the rest of the world for a moment and laughed.

I had a big audition last week and another one this week. Full length feature films. I hate to ever want these things, but God, I hope I get cast. It would do wonders.
Gotta keep making steps.

I have written so much and have deleted them all. Every day and over and over. I'm promising myself that I'm going to post this one. Break the cycle. It's a small step, but at least it's a step.

challenging times

It has been a challenging few weeks. Sometimes it’s been outstanding and at other times I can hardly pull one step ahead of the other. The great parts were going to Atlanta, screening the film for Mrs. Carter, participating in the Forum and seeing my most awesome of old friends - Mr. Henry C.

But this last week I went to Florida and put my Dad’s ashes in the gulf waters where we used to go boating. It was beautiful and surreal.

Saying goodbye to someone you love who has died, is a process that happens over and over again, and each time it is just as delicately painful as the last.