Sunday, December 21, 2008

Facebook takes me back!

What an overwhelming day… See, after wrapping on NJBB, I got a Facebook page going because I thought it would be a great way to keep in touch with our truly fantastic cast and crew. Then because the acting/film group in Austin is pretty tight, I was connecting with all kinds of friends from around here. Then last night an email came reaching out from the past, right into my world. Someone from my college theater days had tracked me down through Facebook. Funny think about Facebook, because in the last 24 hours, I have now reconnected to a group of super cool, incredibly beautiful and exceptionally talented friends I haven't heard from in 16 years. I see their pictures and it doesn’t seem like they’ve aged at all. (Which truthfully kinda pisses me off, cause I look like hell!). But I especially love that when I look at their picture, I can still hear the sound of their voices and the way they talked and laughed. The easy way we had with each other. It reminds me, even after all these years, of how much I cared for them.

I got to thinking about school and how much I loved taking acting classes. That I still dream of going back for my masters in acting, but that it will have to wait until I’m finished raising the kids.

It’s a wonderful feeling of being connected and they remind me of the girl I used to be and I wonder how much of her is still with me. Pretty heady stuff, but also really really good.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

no easy way

I’ve been thinking a lot about the film that just wrapped, and wondering where I am going to go next and how this all fits into being a mom. After the last day of shooting, I felt invincible, like I could direct my own film, or even get back to the stage. Now though, after a week without the panic of preparing for the shoot, I’ve slowly fallen back into the sameness of domestic life. Where I’m once again rushing around to get everything done, but nothing to show for it. Where piles of insignificant chores seem monumental and endless. Is this change due to the blues of not being on set, or simply a reality check? I don’t know, but this past weekend, as I helped with homework, cheered Little Guy’s basketball game, listened to Big Little Guy’s music concert, drove them to movies, grocery shopped, laundry, dishes, etc., I wonder how much more time could I have dedicated to making a film, without everything at home seriously falling apart. I’m not saying I prefer making films to being with my kids. That’s absurd. As it was, there were times I missed my kids so badly, it was like I was homesick or something. But the fact is, I was only away for a few weekends and in that time, one kid's grades dropped, the other one felt alone and ignored, and Mr. Bread Winner, wasn't winning any bread. But damn it, working on this film not only pushed me past my comfort zone, it blew the doors off and it was great to bring down those doors and let in some fresh air!

If only there was an easier way.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Watch out! She has Fists of Fury!

(Photo by Larry Furnace)

O.K., here's proof that I was really there on set. Not just running away from home to avoid housework and kid's homework.
(Photo by David Overturf)

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

post filming panic

Since wrapping for Ninja James and The Beast Boy, I have still been going like crazy. Finding receipts, setting up an account on so I can post photo's of the shoot, writing thank yous to everyone that helped us get this film made (O.K., I actually wrote a measly few compared to Kat, Alicia and Scott, but hand written notes make me nervous. I always smudge it!), and lo' and behold Xmas is in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!! yikes!

One thing that's been a lot of fun, is down loading the photos on to They are taking a really long time, because the files are huge, but I love seeing them!
I'll post some here soon.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Filming day #6

Today we wrapped shooting Ninja James and The Beast Boy. From what I’ve seen, the footage looks super, which I think is a true reflection of the talent, professionalism and hard work of everyone on set. The cast and crew are fantastic, really cool people and I hope we can work together again soon!

Now we start post production. I’m going to miss being on set, but I’m looking forward to this next stage of film making. There’s editing, effects, music, sound, etc…. etc…, to finalize. Then submissions to the festivals and beyond!

Thanks to everyone that worked to get this film on it’s feet and running (in Mr. Smith’s case - running and running and running). You all Rock!!

Friday, December 05, 2008

Mom goes back to Florida

Mom was here for the holidays and went back to Florida today. It was a really nice visit and it was great to hang out, be fussed over, and have someone around who is in my corner. No one loves you like your mom and that's the truth. I was sad to see her board the plane.

Now though, it's time to change into my Producer Hat now and go over tomorrow's shoot. It's our last day of filming and there are going to be some crazy shots and I want everything to go smoothly and professionally.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Happy Birthday To My Sweet Dad.

Dad - Crystal River Florida, 2006
Today is my father's birthday and if he were alive, I would kiss his nose and cheeks, and hold his hands. Oh, how I loved my father. Our family was big on affection and even as an adult, I still delighted in smothering him with kisses. That kind of affection may seem over the top to some people, but I adored him. Of course, with Dad's great sense of humor, he'd stop all the fawning, by feigning overly dramatic properness and say something (that probably came from an old play), like " Please Madam! Control yourself!" or "Decorum, Decorum!" or "Excuse me Madam, Do I know you?" This last one he said to me when he was at my high school and I ran up to him to greet him with a great big hug. He said it loud enough for all my friend to hear, which they thought was pretty damn funny.

My Mom and Dad back in the day (and yes, I know I look just like my mom:)

Last week, my mom came for the Thanksgiving holidays and is staying a few extra days, so we can remember Dad's birthday together. As much as I love my father, I know it is much worse for my mother. They were so connected and adoring of each other. Mom told me that she feels Dad's absence like the sky. It's always there. You may not be looking directly at it, but it's always around you.

Right now, looking outside, I see a clear bright blue sky. It's framed by the dark green leaves and rich brown branches of large oak trees that grow just beyond my window. The blue stretches forever. It touches the horizon and seeps into the earth. Like my father, it's beautiful and comforting.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Little black dress

My mom is visiting, which means, I get to go shopping. Of course I can go shopping when my mom isn't around, but this is something she likes to do and who am I to say no if someone wants to buy me a cute little black dress!! Especially if it's someone with really good taste!

So mom and I have been shopping like mad mommas and I have a new dress.

Thanks mom!