Monday, April 23, 2007

Back to my ol’self again. Not sure what that is, but I’m there again, which I think is a good thing. Paid the bills, stopped by Home Depot and bought some plants (which always make me happy), looked at their patio furniture and daydreamed of BBQ’s and lounging in a screened in patio (I’ll have it some day!), scoped out the sheds and daydreamed (yet again) of an artists/ pottery studio (repeat: some day!).

Went home and did domestic stuff and then the absolutely best part of the day came: I got my Cutie from the bus stop and then got my other Cutie from soccer practice. They make even the worst days better and non descript days wonderful!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

A Day

This week will be six months since my dad passed. I have been missing him all over again and last night I had such strong dreams. He was in them, but it wasn't like he was “visiting” me kind of thing. More like a dream of feelings, from memories. While I was dreaming, I knew I was asleep, but I didn’t care, I held on to him with all my heart as if he were real. But then I could feel myself waking up. I didn’t want to but I couldn’t stop it. As the dream floated away, I desperately held his hands and kissed his sweet face, and when I awoke, I cried into my pillow.

I wish I could shake these feelings of missing him so much..

Friday, April 20, 2007


Saw a motorcyclist smash into a car stopped in traffic. It was right next to me on the highway. I saw him the whole time. He might have been going about 45. I'm amazed he didn't die, only a badly broken arm. But when I saw his body flying through the air and bounce instantly against the back of that small SUV, I thought he was a goner. It looked amazingly like that scene in Meet Joe Black when Brad Pitt's character gets hit by the car. I just saw that part of the film two days ago and changed the channel, but in reality there isn't much channel surfing. At least not while your driving a minivan full of kids, on the highway during rush hour traffic and you think - If this guy is really bad, I'll get out and try to save him, but there are kids in the car, I don't want them to see this, I don't want them sitting in a stopped car on the highway, I don't want to get his blood on me and have to get back in the car. I don't want to see anyone else dead because of a motorcycle accident. And if this guy is still alive, can I help him and still keep all these kids safe?

It's amazing what can go through one's mind in a few seconds.

Fortunately, he held onto the handlebars and rotated through the air and I guess it was his back that hit. I thought he might have crushed his neck, but he was conscious and could move his other arm. It didn't seem to be so bad after all, at least considering how bad it could have turned out. Makes me wonder about the "if's" phenom. One "if" and the whole story changes. If he hadn't been able to hold on to the bike, if he had hit a car or a truck instead. Every other scenario adds up to him being killed, instead of an arm that bent in three places.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

When someone has been away from their blog for so long, how do they begin again. Do they do a quick recap of the last several months (Italy, Florida, emotional ups and downs), or do they ignore that they’ve been away and start writing from that point on. Perhaps I can just fill in as I go along. If it’s important I’ll mention it. If not , then let it go. Just let it go.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I'm here, for the most part, and I'll be back soon.