Saturday, August 29, 2009
While I always thought of practicing moderation in terms of Mojito consumption, I'm applying it now to keeping rested. Speaking of such, I think I'll go take nap and dream of acting in a major motion picture.
Monday, August 17, 2009
I know it’s early for New Year’s wishes, but how about Beginning of the School Year hopes? Like, I really hope that this is going to be an easy peaceful year. I’m sure this is all because of the uncertainty I feel about life these days, but it’s funny how I find myself hoping for such a wide range of things. For example, I hope the cancer goes away, and that I don’t come across another lump any time soon. That my youngest kid is happy at his school. That I hope we’re making the right choice by moving our older kid to another school that’s closer, less stressful and easier on the family. I really hope we’re doing the right thing. I want to finish this screenplay I’m working on and I hope to finish up a short film in the next month. I hope I don’t get really sick and scare the kids. I hope I get back on my feet super fast and land a lead part in a major motion picture (Hey, If I can hope for anything, I might as well go for it!). And lastly, I hope that everything just works out all right.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
As it turns out though, they were not nearly as impressed as I had hoped. Probably because they're not anything cool, like moons or Chinese proverbs or tiger marks. Instead they are just three small dots. I know, kind of a let down.
But I had to get them because today I got mapped by the a CT scan and my tiny tats are marking where the radiation machine is to be positioned to know where to radiate me.
So, if you see me, do me a favor. When I show you my little ink dots, just pretend to be impressed. Those little dots may not be a big scary dragon wrapped around my waist kind of tattoo, but they are a really big deal to me.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Maybe it's one of those things that I just need to get used to . The idea of it. Of cancer. Then again, maybe it just take some time recognizing I have a second chance.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
This is almost unheard of for my type of cancer. I caught it very early. I only need to go through radiation therapy. I have a type of buzz that's not quite describable. My Oncologist was beaming. Mr. Spouse said I'm so incredible lucky, that I should play the lottery. I told him I already had and won the jackpot. I know it sounded corny has hell, but sometimes you just have to revert to lousy dialogue when you're in shock. A good shock. A "I'm having a hard time believing it's true" kind of shock. A "It's Wonderful Life" kind of shock and I'm George Bailey, but instead of shouting "Merry Christmas" I'm shouting "I love you man!, I love ya!!"
But I also feel very humbled. So right now, I'm going to sit with a hot cup of tea, watch my two beautiful children as they read their books and know I'll be able to watch them for many years to come.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Tomorrow I find out the results. Radiation, and/or chemo? Big cancer, little cancer. Whoa, lot's of scary thoughts zipping around.
Thanks to Lauri for making me get out of the house today.
"You need to get out of the house"
"How about getting some lunch?"
"uh, no thanks"
" a movie?"
"um, I'm not sure..."
"Then let's take the kids to a movie and grab some lunch afterwards. O.K. let's see what's playing."
She knew I would go if she included the kids. She's smart like that (and persistent!). So a 3D IMAX movie and lunch. It was great to get out of my head, out of these thoughts. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful friend.
But now I'm back. Wait wait wait, dum, de dum, la de la de dum (yes, I actually hum when I'm nervous)
O.K. time to read another book!