I have been studying and meditating on living in the now. Some people think that it’s a process of letting go of past experiences and future expectations, but for me, it’s understanding that the past and future don’t exist. The past has happened and the future will happen, but right now, they are not here. They don’t exist.
A little before 7 this morning, I was sitting on my driveway, contemplating existence, when a half a dozen deer came up and discovered me. It seems I was in the way of their morning migration. Of course, they could go in a number of directions to get from the green belt to the back yards, and after 15 minutes or so, one of them figured this out and the rest followed. I’m usually not too thrilled with deer. They eat every bloom, rub off the bark from my newly planted trees, and they recently ate several bushes, but still, they are truly beautiful creatures. They have lovely necks that arch up and back and long tapering legs that diminish into tiny black hooves. Hooves that make a delicate clickity-clack as they run across the street. There was one deer that almost made me laugh out loud. He walked behind a bush, craned his neck back and gave me a double take. Then he walked across the street, went behind another bush, reached his neck way out again, and did another double take. I won’t put human notions to his actions, but he was very funny and it made the moment wonderful.
Life is what you make it. Here's where you'll find how I'm making my life as a parent, a filmmaker, an actress, and perhaps come across some humor along the way.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
summer ending
Summer is almost over. Some parts of it were so hard, I couldn't get out of the fetal position and off of the couch for a week. Some parts of it were so great and wonderful, I felt I could take the world in long sweeping steps.
Because of the way the county school board, set up the school calender, this has been an extra long summer, but I wouldn't mind if it went on for a few more weeks. I've been enjoying these mellow, languid days, with a house full of silly happy kids. As far as I'm concerned, kids make the months between June and August become the season called "Summer." Soon though, we will be back to deadlines, schedules, homework hassles and waking up while it's still dark outside. I feel as if I'm holding onto the last days of summer, like I'm holding onto my sweet sweet children. Both are changing with the seasons and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Instead, I'll just let myself breath in this very perfect moment.
Because of the way the county school board, set up the school calender, this has been an extra long summer, but I wouldn't mind if it went on for a few more weeks. I've been enjoying these mellow, languid days, with a house full of silly happy kids. As far as I'm concerned, kids make the months between June and August become the season called "Summer." Soon though, we will be back to deadlines, schedules, homework hassles and waking up while it's still dark outside. I feel as if I'm holding onto the last days of summer, like I'm holding onto my sweet sweet children. Both are changing with the seasons and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Instead, I'll just let myself breath in this very perfect moment.
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